Why The Mormon Church Does Not Support Gay Marriage

Recently a friend expressed to me, “What is the big deal? Why can’t The Church support gay marriage? Live and let live is a kinder approach to life, anyway, isn’t it?”

I have given this a lot of thought and here is my response to my friend and anyone else who may ask the same question.

There are three basic doctrines central to Mormonism, and in order to understand the Church’s position on any political or social issue, it is critical to understand these three doctrines, as they will always guide any decision made.

1.     At the very core of the doctrine of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) is the belief that we are literal spiritual offspring of Heavenly Parents, (a mother and a father), and our highest purpose on this earth is to prove ourselves worthy to become like Them.  “Like Them” means having a marriage that lasts throughout eternity where husband and wife become like God, have their own spirit children and help those children become as their parents are.  That is God’s work. It is His purpose. It is His glory. (See Moses 1:39)

2.     Jesus Christ is our literal spirit brother and the Only Begotten of God the Father in the flesh. Christ’s Atonement is so vast, so powerful, and so complete that it allows every single person who has ever lived on this earth to literally be resurrected. And for those who prove themselves worthy, it also provides the way for them to obtain the power, knowledge, wisdom and perfection necessary to become like our Heavenly Parents.

3.     The vast power of the Atonement is available through sacred ordinances and covenants with Jesus Christ. The authority to administer those ordinances and validate those covenants was given to Joseph Smith through angelic ministers. Joseph Smith, as in days of old, was called by God to be His prophet, and the authority to govern Christ’s church has been passed down from Joseph Smith until Thomas S. Monson today.

So now to specifically answer the question . . .

Since Eternal Marriage and Eternal Parenthood are our highest goals, any practice or belief that hinders or prevents a person from reaching that goal can never be supported by the Mormon Church. The Church will never support something that is in direct opposition to its most core doctrine.

Based on that doctrine, the most fundamental reason to not support gay marriage is simply because two people of the same gender cannot procreate. Without the power of procreation, God’s purpose (that of helping His children progress), identity (that of a father) and glory (His glory increases as He helps his children obtain what He has) would cease to exist. (Moses 1:39)

Please take a minute and think about that. 

But if you still don't believe, then perhaps your next question will be, “Isn’t that doctrine discriminatory and hateful?”

If it were only gay marriage then perhaps that might be true. But remember the Church will not support any belief or practice that prevents a person from reaching their full potential. Gay marriage is only one of many practices that stop people from progressing toward Godhood.

An Invitation to Everyone . . .
The gospel of Jesus Christ is an open invitation to all mankind everywhere to “Come unto Christ and be perfected in Him.” (Moroni 10:32) For it is in becoming perfected, in other words, becoming like our Heavenly Parents, that true joy and happiness will be found. Inviting people everywhere to come and partake of that joy, is not hateful. It is God’s plan for His children.

The invitation also does not discriminate.  It does not matter your color, your creed, body shape, social position, marital status, or gender preference.  It does not matter what sins you have or crimes you may have committed. The invitation is an invitation to everyone to come and worship together. We are all God’s children and He loves us all! And he invites us to come to Him just as we are.

This invitation is so vast, and taken so seriously that each year thousands of young men and women, and senior couples, at their own expense, leave the comfort of their homes to journey to other towns and far away lands to extend the invitation to any who will listen.

The invitation is so inclusive that every person who dies without having received a personal invitation to follow Christ and become as He and our Heavenly Parents are, will be given that invitation in the next life. And through proxy ordinances done in temples across the world, those people will have the opportunity to accept or reject the work done in their behalf.

But remember, the invitation is to Come Unto Christ and be perfected in Him. God never intended us to remain just as we are. He always intended us to change. He always intended us to become perfect—to become as He is. 

So come now. Come just as you are. But come ready to change, because in perfection we receive our greatest happiness and in Godhood we receive our deepest joy. And that happiness and joy is what our Heavenly Father wants to give all of us.

Now to those who may reject the invitation and the doctrine, I ask you this,

Is there a better plan out there?

Is there a plan that places a greater value on mankind? Is there a plan that gives us greater potential than Godhood? Is there a plan that offers more hope and more peace than eternal families?

If you can believe just a little, your next question might be, “If it is all true, then why am I like I am?”

The answer lies in the words of Christ Himself. “. . . I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.” (Ether 12:27)

Every one of us falls much short of perfection. But imperfections, weaknesses, and challenges are some of the ways God has given us to help us realize our need for the Savior. And as we turn our hearts toward Christ, and apply His Atonement in our lives through covenant, we can receive the power to overcome.

Some of you may now ask, “But what if I don’t want an eternal family?”

Then you don’t have to have one. Agency has always been a guiding principle of the gospel. Those who reject the invitation to change their life, enter into sacred covenants and become like their Heavenly Parents, will not be forced to do so.  But the full blessings of the gospel and the fullness of joy are reserved for those who are willing to do all that God asks them to do. And the purpose of the Church is to help each of us be obedient to God.  

Because . . .

That is God’s plan for happiness. That is God’s plan of love.

Lori Wagner

One Mormon Voice

If you want to read more about Mormon belief on life after this life or same sex attraction, you can do so by clicking on the links below.

 Becoming Like God

Same Sex Attraction

Gender and Indentity Confusion--One of Satan's Sneaky Snares

The most important knowledge we need to understand about ourselves is that we are beloved sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, and that our gender is an essential characteristic in God’s plan for us. It is no wonder that one of Satan’s great sneaky snares is to confuse us about both our spiritual identity as well as our gender. 

I am a child of God
The first principle missionaries teach is that God is our Heavenly Father and we are His children.  He has a body of flesh and bones and we are created in His image.  In “The Family—A Proclamation to the World” we are additionally taught that as beloved sons and daughters of God, we each have “ . . . a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual pre-mortal, mortal and eternal identify and purpose. “

The Bible begins with the story of the creation of man and woman, children of God, created in His image.

Each Sunday all over the world, young women stand together and recite, “We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us and we love Him.” In primary the children frequently sing, “I Am A Child of God”.

It is no coincidence that this doctrine is emphasized over and over again.

The most important knowledge we need to understand about ourselves is that we are beloved sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father and as such we can become like Him, and that our gender is essential to fulfilling our divine destiny and purpose.

God is my Heavenly Father and He knows my name

I remember well the first time I began to understand my relationship with my Heavenly Father.  I grew up singing “I Am A Child of God’ and always felt comforted by the words of the song. But it was at the beginning of 9^th grade, when I came to know for a surety that God was my Heavenly Father and as such, he knew me!!

Brother Robert Wells (not the general authority) was my ninth grade seminary teacher at Lincoln Junior High in Orem, Utah. At the beginning of the year he informed us that after prayerful consideration he would be extending callings to class officers the following day. That night, while saying my prayers, I had the impression that I would be called to serve in our seminary class and that Leon Berrett would be called as the class president.

The next day when I arrived at seminary, Brother Wells was handing out appointment slips to those who were being called as class officers. Without thinking about what I was doing, I stood by him and waited for him to hand me my slip. He looked at me a little quizzically at first, then sorted through the slips until he found mine.  That afternoon he called me to be a zone leader.

Being a zone leader in a ninth grade seminary class was certainly not a position of power or much authority but for me it was life changing. For the first time in my life, I knew God knew me and He knew my name! For how could he tell Brother Wells to call me to a position if he didn’t know who I was?  And for a second witness that my revelation was correct, Leon Berrett was called to be the class president.

God loves us and wants to communicate with us
I few years later I had another memorable experience that strengthened my testimony of God as our Father and His love for us.  I was just beginning my mission in Ecuador and assigned to the small, poverty stricken coastal town of Esmeraldas. With very little Spanish, I struggled to teach the people the gospel in their native language.

One afternoon my companion and I met with a young man at the pre-fabricated church building. It was hot, as always, and without any air conditioning, we were drenched in sweat. But felt the Spirit as we taught about God, our Father in Heaven, who loves us.

The young man was a bit incredulous that God was actually his spirit father and so we taught him to pray and invited him to ask God Himself.  The young man bowed his head and in very simple words offered his first prayer. The Spirit filled the room as a clear and profound answer was given. Each of us could testify that a response was received, but what struck me the most about the experience was that I could literally feel God smiling! I could sense His joy at being able to talk once again to one of His beloved sons! I could feel His happiness at being able to let this young man know that yes, He was his father, He was aware of him and He loved him!

If having a clear understanding of who we are and what we can become is the most essential knowledge we can have in this life, it only makes sense that one of Satan’s most sneaky snares would be to attempt to distort and diminish our true identify.

Gender and identity confusion is a tactic of Satan to cause us to forget who we are and our purpose on earth

I recently watched a video published by The Family Policy Institute of Washington.  College students were interviewed regarding their feelings on people being able to use any bathroom based on the gender they identified with. All the students were in favor of the policy, feeling that everyone should be supported in their feelings.

Then the interviewer began to change the questions and asked if it were okay for him to believe he was an Asian woman, a seven year old and six-foot five (8 inches taller than his actual height) Having once taken the position that you can believe whatever you want to believe and should be supported in your belief, the students stuck with that position, but with less and less conviction.

The truth is that a five-foot nine-inch adult white man, is just that—a five-foot nine-inch adult white man. And no matter what he wants to believe, he will never be a seven-year-old, six-foot-five inch Asian woman. Never.

And although there are many dangers the "be whatever you want to be" environment creates for our society, I think the greatest tragedy of all is that it prevents people from learning who they truly are and therefore also prevents them from understanding their divine purpose and potential.

I know who I am, I know God's Plan, I'll follow Him in faith
Each of us is a beloved son or daughter of the Most High God. And no amount of personal desire, laws or public persuasion can change that. We are created in God's image and our divine destiny is to become like Him. Gender is an essential characteristic in achieving our eternal purpose as not only sons and daughters of God, but also future fathers and mothers with our own eternal families.

May we always remember that.

Lori Wagner,

One Mormon Voice